Developing a healthy self-image is important. If you are very insecure about yourself, it can significantly interfere with your psychological well-being and hinder your ability to maintain social contacts. On the other hand, if you are extremely self-confident and have a high opinion of yourself, you run the risk of coming across to other people as an unsympathetic and haughty person. So it seems wise to choose a middle ground, where you are sufficiently aware of your strengths as well as your weaknesses; where you are confident enough to engage with people, but also open to feedback. In general, that’s probably quite a useful strategy. But the Bible gives another perspective: try to see yourself in the light of God’s grace.
Don’t base your self-image on your ethnicity or social status
Every person is born into a certain family and a certain people. For some, that lineage is very important. It makes them feel superior or inferior to others. In Jesus’ day, many Jews prided themselves on being descendants of Abraham. Romans were proud of their status as free citizens. Slaves were considered inferior in various cultures. India still has a social class system, in which your lineage determines your position in society. On a smaller scale, certain families hold great prestige in societies, while migrants and homeless people are at the bottom of the social ladder. Such patterns are often deeply ingrained in society and can deeply influence your self-image. But to God, all this is not important at all! “For in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. […] There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:26-28) Your social status does not define your worth to God. And God’s opinion of you is far more important than other people’s opinions!
Don’t base your self-image on your past
Paul is a prominent figure in Christianity. He wrote many letters that are included in the Bible. Before coming to faith, he was quite impressed with himself. By the standards of his contemporaries, he had absolutely made it: “circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to righteousness under the law, blameless.” (Philippians 3:5-6) But after his conversion, Paul no longer cared about any of these ‘achievements’. “I count them as rubbish,” he says (Philippians 3:8).
Conversely, Paul had also made great mistakes. He thought he was doing God a favor by imprisoning and killing the followers of Jesus. Later he realized that Jesus is actually Lord, the Son of God. So in that respect, Paul’s past was something to be intensely ashamed of! “I am the least of the apostles,” he wrote, “unworthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God.” (1 Corinthians 15:9) Yet he did not dwell on his past. He continued: “But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.” (1 Corinthians 15:10) This divine grace had changed everything. As a result, both Paul’s good accomplishments and his past missteps had become irrelevant to his self-image. He was given a new identity as a child of God, and it was no longer defined by his past.
Paul, by the way, was not alone in this. Men like David and Peter had also made great mistakes. But God forgave them and restored them to positions of responsibility — one as king and the other as church leader. Who they were did not depend on their past, but on their relationship with God.
Base your self-image on God’s grace
Paul was aware of his past and did not try to hide it. He even mentioned it in letters to fellow believers. But he did not get bogged down in pathological self-criticism. The past no longer defined who he was. It had been forgiven. Grace had set him free. The memory of his past now only increased his wonder at God’s love. That attitude led to healthy self-acceptance. He calls us to follow his example: “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” (Romans 15:7, NIV) I think we may add, “Accept yourselves, just as Christ accepted you, to the glory of God.”
Is that always easy? No, certainly not. People around you can subtly or openly make it clear that you are inferior in their eyes. The devil may keep bringing up and rubbing in your shameful past. He may attack you with negative, depressive thoughts. Or you may actually be surrounded by ‘fans’ who fuel your pride, tempting you to feel better than others
Against all these dangers, only one thing really helps: being deeply impressed by the miracle of God’s grace, which crosses out our disfigured self-image by the cross of Jesus, who died in our place. As Paul phrases it: “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20)
How liberating to view yourself like this, through the lens of God’s grace!