“But Hannah answered, ‘No, my lord, I am a woman troubled in spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my soul before the Lord.’” (1 Samuel 1:15)
Okay, so we have discovered that forgiveness means that I choose to suffer the pain that the other person has caused without blaming or making the other person pay. But then where does my pain go? Will it take the form of headaches or will I unconsciously take it out on people around me?
A great example of this is found in 1 Samuel 1. This story is about a family with a complicated and actually undesirable relationship: a man with two wives. It’s bound to go wrong! In fact, it did go wrong. One woman is favored, the other feels it and finds an outlet for her pain. Peninna has children and Hanna doesn’t. This is a disgrace in Israel and she can bully Hanna about it. Hanna shows her grief, but does not retaliate. She chooses another way. She takes all her grief to God. In fact, she does so in such a way that the attending priest thinks she’s drunk. But when she explains her situation, she actually receives a blessing from him.
Her decision brings her peace.
There are many examples in the Psalms, where the psalmist lays his pain down before God, accompanied by all his emotions. God knows how to deal with it, He’s not afraid of it.
How do you deal with your pain?